– The 6 things to focus on in order to improve your life.
Before we start let me explain the title. A.C.E. actually stands for something it’s not just a really cheesy title. A is about the 3 things that matter, C is about the 2 things you need to differentiate between and E is the one thing that take priority before all of the rest.
A is for A.I.R.
In life I believe we are all responsible for ONLY three things and but for all three of those things.
A – Actions.
I’m sure you will agree that we are all, as individuals, responsible for our own actions. For example: If I go and punch someone in the face I’m ultimately and absolutely responsible for that action and I will have been the one to instigate the results that follow.
I – Inactions.
I’m just as responsible for the things I DON’T do. For example, when I bury my head and choose to put off replying to that parking ticket. I’ve heard people get irate at needing to pay more for a ticket because they didn’t reply sooner, blaming the ticketing company and easily forgetting that it was in their control by 1) not parking incorrectly (their action) and 2) not reply sooner (their inaction)
R – Reactions
This is the one that people tend to think about less but is the one that holds the real power. We are all able to control our REactions too. When someone says or does something that makes us feel a certain way, we are able to choose how to react and respond.
- to be clear I am NOT saying that we can (nor should we) control our emotions. But we CAN (and should) control the way we react to those emotions. Acknowledge the way that something makes you feel, examine WHY is makes you feel that way and then CHOOSE how you wish to react to it.
There are a number of ways you can improve your ability and tendency to choose your reactions more effectively (see my talk on ‘Why I Love Bad Drivers’ for more information) get in touch to find out more about how I can help you with that.
So that’s the first 3 things to consider when taking charge of creating the life that you want for yourself.
C is for control.
There are 2 things within this category. The things you can control and the things you can’t.
If you want to ‘ace’ your life you need to learn to embrace and focus on the things you CAN control (hint: those things are listed above) and learn to accept the things you can’t.
If something falls outside of the 3 things you have direct responsibility for and you are not willing to accept it, either distance yourself from it or look at how (focusing on your A.I.R) you can influence it but on’t burn yourself out trying to control something you can’t.
A great example to consider here is applying for a promotion. You can’t control getting that promotion. It’s down to the actions of the person who decides who gets the job. What IS in your control are your actions, (for example how diligently you work, how visible that is to the right people, how you interact with your colleagues etc, etc.) focus on your actions and you will be able to influence the outcome not control it. If you don’t get it you have still achieved more than you otherwise would with less stress and will be better placed for the next opportunity or in a better place to find an alternative elsewhere.
E is for Ego
ok, so I cheated and jumped to latin here. Ego is from the latin for SELF. (It fits better than ACS – don’t judge me)
Self – because before you can really move forward on any of the above you have to prioritise and focus on YOURSELF. It’s like the safety announcement on a plane. You need to put on your own oxygen mask FIRST before you help other people with theirs because if you can’t breathe you can’t help others. Put yourself first and make sure you are looking after YOU.
And that is how to ACE your life. Go out there and do it!
Thanks for taking the time to read this.